Earlier this week my husband tested positive for Covid. He knew exactly how he had contracted it, from whom, what day and what he was doing at the time.
He knew where to get a RAT test, how to test, how to report the positive test, and all the things he could and couldn’t do while he was positive. He knew all of this because he loves learning and had been closely following the data, the global numbers, the variants, how they operate, what the experts say, how the deaths and reported cases in all the countries was tracking. He had all the graphs and tables and had been reporting them to anyone who would listen for months (I can now say years).
This comes as no surprise to me as we know his top core value is learning (the emotional buzz he gets from learning and researching and finding out more).
It was interesting to note that MY first reaction to his positive test was Anger.
I felt the discomfort rise as the smoke alarm in my body went into panic mode.
The panic related to my top core value of Freedom. A thought stream started up about how unfair it was, how was I going to do the things I normally do, who I wouldn’t be able to see, the disruption it was going to cause to my usual complete freedom.
Not long after I felt the smoke alarm as a result of the train of thoughts, I recognized it as My core value of freedom being challenged. The awareness alone was enough to calm the panic, because I knew what was causing it.
In the past I would have continued to be angry and play the victim, not realizing that because Freedom is important to me, it is the violation of my freedom and my thinking about it that is causing the anger.
When I own it I have a choice what I do with it. Without awareness, its hard to pin point.
With clarity of what was causing the anger, I realized that I had a lot more freedom in this situation than I first thought. I already live in wide open spaces, I have zoom at my disposal to see clients and friends and I am free in my health. So much freedom still exists for me, it just took a pause to see it.
Meanwhile, my husband is elated. He can justify sitting at the computer all day now and learn what ever he wants, get more of what is important to him.
Knowing what your core values are, creates awareness and with awareness you have choice. In this case I was able to reduce my potential suffering.
That felt empowering.
I absolutely love eliciting core values for individuals, as it provides such a deep and rich understanding of what's most important in all aspects of life.
Core Values are the guiding compass that draws us towards feelings that we love to experience on a regular basis as an individual. and confirm when we are living a fulfilling life, according to their presence.
Jenny Malcolm
Mind & Body
WellBeing Coach 10.6.22
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